A Tale of Tails - Where We Catfolks Be From

By Milosh Cheshire 

Gather 'round gents and donas! I, the great chronicler Milosh Cheshire shall capture your attention with the fantabulosa history of my fortuni kinsfolk. Our tale begins many years ago, before The Event, even before we set our lallie tappers on this planet Elysium, back on Great Mother Gaia! It was the times before the Last Great War when omis and palones of great intelligence discovered the way to alter their geneticistics and become more than regular, naff humans.

It was a knockout of a discovery, specially for our spiritual forefathers, the artistes, the eccentrics, the different, and yes, the freaks and schizos too! Not everyone had the  metzas or connections to acquire the transformation, but many people did. Some became pretty pretty piccadilly elves, others became meese horrid creatures for wars to come. But our forefathers were too zhooshy. They wanted to be more different, more in-tune with nature, more themselves! Humanity was not for everyone, my dear. Some good Joe might feel right in his people skin, but others never felt right. They looked at the agile and carefree creatures of Gaia and they yearned. But now, they had the opportunity to finally be their true identities! Some became canines or greenies (not as fantabulous, mind you), but our forefathers became the most graceful and kushti of all the Post-Humans, they became the Catfolk, The Children of Bastet, The Nekojin, however you prefer to call us. Our identity as a group and sense of unity goes beyond a name. We stand out, after all. Every member of our kin has a long dolly tail and feline ears. But we can vary greatly in how much we resemble humans or true cats. This variety can manifest within a single pride or even a single family, and even closely related Catfolk can look highly distinct from one another. But ultimately, we are all peoples that look like your average friendly mouser.

But back to the history. All wasn't well and bona. Days of high drama were to follow. Gaia was covered in nana and munge and a big barney exploded everywhere. There was much grief, sadness and unfairness about it. We Catfolks kept to ourselves, and most of us managed under the circumstances. Even then we had a certain reputation for going against the grain of naff human culture, so no one blamed us for the devastation of that Great War. But some of the instigators of the war happened to be some big gaffer Post-Humans, so after the war, well, let's say a lot of people were resentful against those that were not your standard issue peoples.

For most normie people, things got much bona after the war. Peace treaties were signed, Humanity discovered how to travel among the stars, big Science to the rescue. Milk and catnip for everyone! But for us Catfolk, it was a time of persecution. Not everyone was nasty to us, mind you, we get along with most. But them meshigener carseys with their holy books and big mouths convinced the big gaffers and rozzers in charge that us Post-Humans were no-bona. So, noticing that we might have had overstayed our welcome on Gaia, a group of Big Toms and Queens of that time got together and decided to gather their prides (not an easy task for us felines) and settle somewhere nice among the stars. Everyone collected their measures and metzas and chartered themselves a bona peregrination to the planet Elysium in the Victoria star system.

On Elysium, our caravan put up a big performance and made pals with most settlements. The people of Elysium at the time were not so naff or meese, and we were welcomed. Many of our kin were already big in the arts such as dukkering, walloping, and joggerin', so we earned our dinari and made our latties with relative ease. But then The Event happened.

After the Event, it got rough and meese. Some naff normies went back to being ignorant and persecuting those that were different, but us clever Catfolk endured. Luckily, smart Big Toms and Queens became big gaffers in some settlements or with trading caravans. Much needed political prestige and influence to keep us safe. Ultimately, after things settled down, Catfolk managed to make bona lives on Elysium. Mostly free from bigotry in the more enlightened nations, such as the Colonial Alliance, Kalahari, and Belrios. Nowadays, a great number of us make our path in life by indulging in the arts. No civilized city would be complete without a few Catfolk entertainers among their populace. Some others have found their calling as traders, selling forbidden fruits and interesting baubles, for a fair price, of course.

The Children of Bastet see ourselves as wanderers, entertainers, free spirits, and explorers. Our curiosity makes us troll about to the ends of Elysium to seek and enjoy new experiences and cultures. We are not many, perhaps most of us are too busy to settle down and bring about some chavi kittens, so if you see one of us, don't just ogle, be a pal and be friendly, and don't forget your dinari!